


The Wager

by lobo_chan



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Bake Sale, Crack, Fundraisers, Gen, Maid Cafe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 01:53:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7782283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lobo_chan/pseuds/lobo_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The destruction of Starkiller Base has lowered morale in the First Order and put them in a bad place financially. General Hux has to think of a plan to fix these problems. Kylo Ren gets competitive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Wager

**Author's Note:**

> For the Hux Fest prompt: General Hux wants a new Star Destroyer, The First Order is short on funds, he tries to come up with creative methods to get what he wants.

            The loss of Starkiller Base was a blow to the First Order on all fronts. They lost personnel and their greatest superweapon, their strategies had to be reworked, and morale was at an all-time low. Add to that the damage to the fleet in escaping the collapse of the planet and the Resistance harassing the evacuees. The First Order was in desperate need of funds for replacement ships and repairs, but the money simply wasn’t there. Everything they had had been funneled into building Starkiller Base.

          

  Hux threaded his fingers through his hair, ruining the perfect order he strove for every morning. What would he do?

***

            Kylo Ren had just returned from his training with Snoke, accompanied by the Knights of Ren. They would have another mission together soon, so it was best to stay together in the meantime. But until then, they would be stationed on the Finalizer. The flight had been long, and they’d had nothing but simple rations in the shuttle, so the first stop was the officers’ mess.

         

   The officers’ mess… certainly didn’t look like it had the last time he’d been aboard the ship. He ducked his head out of the room to make sure it was the right place and he hadn’t somehow gotten lost in the ship, but the room designation remained the same. It was just the interior that was different.

 

            The officers’ mess had been transferred into some sort of café by the looks of it. The large cafeteria tables had been pushed to the edges of the room and a bunch of small round tables filled the space between. All of the tables had tasteful red tablecloths with the First Order insignia over them. Strangest of all, however, was the fact that there were _Stormtroopers_ sitting at the tables.

 

            Hux’s dry voice broke through the confusion, “How many in your party?”

 

            He turned to see Hux standing behind a podium just inside the door, “Seven?”

 

            Hux was… wearing a suit rather than his uniform. Hux had been _born_ in his uniform. What the hell? Like, it was still black, but it was very definitely not his usual attire. Also, were those cat ears sticking out of his hair? Those were totally little ginger cat ears.

 

            “Phasma, seven for table one.”

 

            Hux handed Captain Phasma a stack of menus and she lead Kylo and his knights to one of the large tables surrounding the room in a horseshoe. Rather than her usual chrome armor, Phasma was wearing a white dress with black geometric designs and black sleeves. The dress only went to her mid-thigh. She did not, however, appear to be wearing cat ears.

 

            She handed out the menus, “Mitaka will be your server today. He will be with you shortly.”

 

            “Captain, what is going on?”

 

            “It’s a maid café to boost morale for the troops and raise funds for the Order. Whichever server gets the most tips by the end of the week will win a prize.” She smiled, which looked rather off on her face. Actually, seeing her face looked rather off on her face. “Apparently maid cafés are rather popular on some planets.”

 

            She left, and Kylo and his knights turned to looking over the menus. The menu consisted mostly of soups, salads, and sandwiches, but there were also a handful of heartier options and a quiche of the day. Kylo had never had quiche and was curious to try one.

 

            Then Lieutenant Mitaka came to their table. Kylo was glad for his helmet hiding his dumbfounded expression as he watched Mitaka serve each knight a glass of water. Mitaka was… Well, no two ways about it, the lieutenant was wearing a dress. It was a simple black dress with puffy little sleeves, and it fell about halfway down his thighs. Over that, he wore a frilly white apron. But no, what really took the cake were the black cat ears atop his head, the choker necklace with a tiny bell on it, and the tail sticking out of the back of the dress.

 

            “Do you know what you would like to drink, my lords?”

 

            What?

 

            The knights all gave their orders while Kylo was busy trying to process everything and he didn’t notice until everyone at the table was staring at him. “Oh, uh, blue milk?”

 

            Mitaka gave a little half curtsy, tray hugged to his chest, and flounced away toward the kitchen. The tail swayed with his movement and the bell jingled softly.

 

            All around them were First Order officers dressed as maids or butlers, serving the Stormtroopers. Most of the officers had cat ears on, but Mitaka seemed to be the one who had gone the farthest down the path of the cat/human hybrid. He was also the only male officer in a dress. In fact, only half of the female officers were in dresses. Most of the room wore trousers.

 

            The knights all took their helmets off and placed them discretely under the table.

 

            The evening was quite enjoyable, even if it was a bit strange. The knights chatted amongst themselves freely, which was a rarity since they were usually only together for missions. The food was good. It turned out that quiche was some sort of egg pie, and quite tasty. One or two of the knights even tried to flirt with Lieutenant Mitaka, who blushed a very bright red when one of them used the Force to pinch his butt.

 

            Then the bill came.

 

            Kylo, as the Master of the Knights, was expected to foot the bill. He really should have paid attention to what everyone was ordering. So it was with a heavy heart and a significantly lighter wallet that he paid Phasma for the evening.

 

            The knights left a significant tip for Mitaka.

 

            Kylo swore that he would have his revenge on Hux for creating such a trap as the First Order Maid Café.

 

***

 

            Hux watched Phasma idly cleaning her nails. Business had been slow the last two days for the First Order Maid Café, which was rather strange considering how lucrative the whole venture had been the first week. The officers didn’t seem to mind (except for Mitaka, whose very demeanor made his tail seem to droop with sadness rather than the fact that it was just a prop), but Hux had already planned on running this damned thing for two full weeks and he  would not accept defeat! Besides, what else would the Stormtroopers be spending their money on? They should be spending it on him and the Order.

 

            Then Petty Officer Thanisson walked in, looking confused and carrying a plate of scones.

 

            Hux would know those scones anywhere.

 

            “Kylo,” he sneered to himself. He pointed to Phasma, “Captain, you’re in charge. I’m going to go investigate what’s going on.”

 

            “Yes, sir.”

 

            He stalked out of the officers’ mess and towards the living quarters, where Thanisson had no doubt come from. Two hallways down he found Kylo and the Knights of Ren manning a table laden with baked goods. And of course the table was at a main thoroughfare of the ship, intercepting most of the troops before they even reached the officers’ mess.

 

            He strode over, trying to not show how angry he was at Kylo’s attempt to foil his plans. Who would even buy Kylo’s scones anyways? The things were terrible!

 

            Kylo turned to face him before he’d even reached the table proper, “Ah, General. Are you here for the bake sale?”

 

            “What is the meaning of this, Ren?”

 

            All of the knights looked at him, all wearing their helmets. Oh yes, they were all Ren.

 

            “We are doing a fundraiser. A bake sale.”

 

            “Who gave you permission to do this?”

 

            “We are outside the First Order. The Knights of Ren do not need permission to organize their own bake sale.”

 

            One of the knights stared down a passing technician until he came over and bought a brownie.

 

            “You will cease this at once! The First Order is in need of funds for new equipment and your bake sale is cutting into our café’s profits.”

 

            Kylo waved a hand dismissively, “You have no jurisdiction here.”

 

            “How about a wager, then?”

 

            Kylo just stared at him. Was he raising his eyebrow inside the helmet and somehow expecting Hux to pick up on that?

 

            “Whoever makes the most money by the end of the week wins. If I win, all of your profits go to the First Order.”

 

            “And if I win?”

 

            “Well, what do you want if you win?”

 

            “You’ll wear the cat ears and a collar on the bridge for a week.”

 

            “No.”

 

            “Half a week?”

 

            He just stared at Kylo.

 

            “A day, and you have to give me a massage after I finish my training that day.”

 

            “Deal.”

 

            There was no way Kylo could win. The maid café already had a head start.

 

            Hux refused to be intimidated when he somehow found himself compelled to buy half a dozen cookies shaped like Darth Vader’s mask.

 

***

 

            The café’s profits rose again after the wager was made official and Hux sent Mitaka out to work as advertising and to divert potential customers away from the Knights of Ren. Mitaka was the best earner of the café and the most enthusiastic, so he would work well against the knights. The whole week he was never once swayed to buy one of Kylo’s mediocre confectionaries.

 

            The end of the week came quickly, time passing in the fire of hate-filled competition.

 

            Kylo Ren brought his jars of money to Conference Room Delta and Hux brought his lockbox. They each counted out their own money, wrote down the number, and traded places so the other could verify the number. Somehow, the bake sale had outdone the café for that week’s earnings, and the previous week did not count since the Knights had not been aboard that whole time.

 

            “You cheated.”

 

            “I didn’t take you for a sore loser, General.”

 

            “You and your knights must have used the Force to persuade troops to buy from you.”

 

            “And?” Kylo raised an eyebrow (this time visible, as he had his helmet off so he could gloat to full effect in front of Hux when he inevitably won), “You never said that using the Force was against the rules.”

 

            Hux seethed.

 

            “I demand a recount by a neutral third party.”

 

            Five minutes later, Lieutenant Mitaka was in the room, counting all of the money yet again. The numbers still came up in Kylo’s favor.

 

            “Admit it, General, you lost.”

 

            “Fine. You win. You made more money than me.”

 

            “Um, sirs? What’s going on?” Mitaka asked.

 

            Kylo turned to Mitaka, all too happy to rub it in Hux’s face in front of one of his subordinates, “Whoever made the most money with their fundraiser by the end of the week would win and get something from the other. Since I won, General Hux will have to wear his cat ears on the bridge and give me a massage.”

 

            “Oh,” Mitaka fidgeted a little, “Well, uh…”

 

            Hux glared, “Out with it, Lieutenant.”

 

            “Well you see, sirs, I, uh… I made more than both of you this week in tips.”

 

            “What? Lieutenant, why didn’t you report your tips to me sooner?”

 

            Mitaka flinched, “Because you didn’t ask us to report our tips until tomorrow after this business was sorted? I just… Since I made more than either of you, would it be too bold to ask to be a part of this wager?”

 

            Kylo snorted.

 

            Hux thought for a moment, “Ren, wouldn’t my servers’ tips fall under the profits I made this week?”

 

            “You are not winning based solely on Mitaka’s tips, General.”

 

            “What if I forfeited my prize to the Lieutenant?”

 

            “That depends…” Kylo turned to Mitaka, “Lieutenant, what do you want as your prize if we let you in on the wager?”

 

            “I, uh,” he blushed, “I want to be allowed to wear whatever I want when not on the bridge and not get written up for a dress code violation, sirs!”

 

            Kylo and Hux looked at each other, then back to Mitaka, “Is that all?”

 

            He fidgeted, “I just really like the dress and-“

 

            Hux thought about it.

 

            Kylo thought about it.

 

            “I’m alright with it if you are.”

 

            “Yeah, same.”

 

            Mitaka looked up hopefully.

 

            “You win, Lieutenant.”


End file.
